34 weeks

Things are going much better on the family front. All the kids have gotten better from their respective illnesses. Momma is still sick however. And it has NOT been fun. Coughing until you puke, and then puking till you almost crap yourself has been one of several highlights on the week's reel.

Our little one has been VERY active these last few weeks. It has been a struggle to keep him on monitors for NSTs and Ultrasounds.

Friday afternoon and evening were extremely chaotic. I spent the evening in Labor and Delivery at the request of both my perinatologist AND my OB.

During my ultrasound with the temporary-peri, the baby's heart rate was extremely elevated for a period. At this point in pregnancy a baby's heart rate should flux from around 138 at a resting rate, to 180 at an active rate. Our little one's heart rate reached well into the 200 range at one point in time and made everyone extremely nervous. There was question as to whether my horrible cough has been causing him too much stress or not. While I was at the hospital on the monitor, you could visually see how much pressure was occurring....If you know anything about watching contractions on a monitor, well into active labor, your contractions will reach the 50 and up range, and a resting abdominal pressure will most likely be somewhere between 3 and 15 depending on where the sensor is positioned. Just coughing, the tension in my abdomen was well into the 60 range. All I could think was "Dear god, my cough is giving the baby a heart attack." Literally my abdominal muscles are strained right now. Not from pregnancy but from tensing up and coughing so that I don't lose my bladder!!

I also had some blood pressures that were alarming to the temp-peri. Were I NOT medicated, those BPs would have been substantially higher than they were. Needless to say, the OB let me come home, with no specific orders.

Baby's heart rate rose during levels of activity and dropped during periods of inactivity. Had his heart rate dropped during active times, that would have been cause for concern. Also my blood pressure stayed relatively close to the 140/90 range and not overly concerning. My blood work all came back great, as did my urine sample. I also had a chest x-ray while I was there, to make sure I didn't have a visible lung infection and everything looked great.

So baby will continue to cook a little longer. Monday afternoon I will see my Peri again, then Wednesday I will see my OB, and again Friday I will see the Peri again. I HOPE that he doesn't want to see me twice a week now, and give me three total appointments a week. I'm not sure that my already busy schedule can take much more.

I have to admit, I maintained my composure very well. Until I was left alone in the hospital. It wasn't until after I got off the phone with little man's daddy that I started to lose my grip. Then the tears fell, albeit briefly. At this point....while 34 weeks is early, I know he would be fine, whatever happens. I really just could not hold it in anymore. I wasn't sure if they would be keeping me at that point. If I would go on bedrest. If I would have to have an emergency c-section. It was kind of scary. I hate not being in control, and in those moments, I only knew the different scenarios that COULD happen.

I spent the morning doing some research and paying closer attention to my body. While my severe mold allergies are a big issue, I think that there are some other factors at work. I have this 'hairy' sensation in the way back of my throat. Like I swallowed some hair and it's stuck. It turns out, that sensation can be caused by things like GERD and severe acid reflux. And what do pregnant women get really bad in pregnancy? Heartburn. Acid Reflux. I've had it every pregnancy and apparently this is the worst. I switched out my heartburn meds for a different kind, and actually got a little bit of relief. I've only had about five near puking episodes with coughing today, so it has been a little better. Not perfect, by any stretch of the imagination, but better. I'm going to stick with the alternative med for a while and see if it helps.

I've also been having some serious issues with my blood sugar. I am well aware that things go awry the further into pregnancy you get. Now that I'm nearing the end, everything is fubar'ed. My two hour tests are 30 or more points above where they should be. My fasting levels are going nuts. I don't know what the peri is going to do with me now. He could put me on a fast acting insulin to bring those numbers down, or he might let it slide for a little while longer.

No matter what happens, I'm just going to be glad when this baby is here and I can worry LESS about all this stuff that was once unimportant before. It's stressing me out.



Those visible stretch marks are all from previous pregnancies. No new ones yet!! LOL

31 weeks 5 days

We had another appointment today, this time with the perinatologist. I cannot express how much I adore Sam. He really is a fantastic doctor and his bedside manner is wonderful.

So far, things are going pretty good. Blood pressure is within acceptable levels. No sugar or protein in my urine. He's not concerned about my blood sugars AT ALL. And didn't say a word about my cinnamon roll, or brownie notes. In fact, we laughed about it. "Back away from me, I am eating the damn brownie!!" LOL

I did have to toss out my old bottle of insulin and start using a new one. I think that has helped to lower my fasting numbers a little bit. The other bottle was more than a month old. I don't know if they 'go bad' but it seemed like my numbers were remaining elevated, but came down again as soon as I switched bottles, which is kind of weird, but maybe that's normal. I don't have anyone to ask, so I don't know.

The baby is doing GREAT. He's measuring 3lbs 10oz via ultrasound, which is the 29th percentile, which is totally acceptable and within baby's normal range for this pregnancy anyway. This puts him at approximately 6lbs 10oz at 38 weeks, which is what we are now aiming for at this point in the game.

I've booked the remainder of my appointments out for the pregnancy for the most part. I will be having an amniocentesis done at the end of August, two days before my 37 week mark, so that we can check baby's lung development.

Baring any further complications, we are aiming for that 38 week point. He said it was perfectly safe for us to go to that point, which is literally the only time that we have available to have this baby, without forcing me to be in labor ALONE. Being alone to have this baby is literally one of my biggest fears. Without someone to watch the other kids, that is what would happen. If we were able to take baby out at 37 weeks, and lung development wasn't an issue, we 'could' do that. However, because of my mother's previously arranged plans, she has a very narrow window of opportunity to be here for us, from out of state, to take care of the other kids so that I'm NOT alone during the labor and delivery. It's better for us to push the pregnancy another week, if we can, for lung development, and to assure my not delivering alone. Something that has caused an extreme amount of anxiety for me, not to mention countless tears.

So the plan, at this point, is to take baby out some time between Sept 6th and Sept 9th. We are keeping our fingers crossed that everything goes smoothly between now and then. Personally, I'm NOT worried about delivering early. I have yet to go into labor on my own, or have my water break on it's own either. My last pregnancy was the exception. My midwife stripped my membranes and then I started leaking, but wasn't aware of it until two days later, when they brought me in for the induction and she asked me if I'd been leaking and I told her I thought it was PEE!!!

We are not at all concerned about the baby getting 'TOO BIG' at that point in the pregnancy....even though mother's with diabetes or gestational diabetes run the risk of having babies in the 10lb range. Given baby's current size, there's just not a concern that he will get anywhere NEAR 9lbs, which, for me, would mean a c-section. There's just no other way around it. My pelvis literally cannot accommodate a baby of that size. 6 1/2 to 7 1/2lbs is perfectly do'able for us.

The ultrasound (BPP - Biophysical profile and NST - Non-Stress Test) went REALLY well. Baby was SO active that she had a hard time getting the readings for his heart and his cord because he kept moving and then it would blip off. She said they would have been much more concerned if he was moving LESS! He is going to be a busy little guy, that's for sure.

Here's a couple of 3D pictures. He looks just like Matty, that's for sure. I can't wait to kiss those little cheekies.

27 weeks 1 day

Great news, the increase on my blood pressure medicine must be working. I'm only really having a headache first thing when I wake up in the morning. Also, no more face or lip swelling since the increase! WOOHOO! I can't check my BP, because insurance won't cover a cuff and I can't buy a new one yet, but I took my BP in the grocery store today and it was 119/78, which is GREAT!!

I completed my 24 hour urine collection and the rest of my blood tests this morning, but I'm pretty sure my urine will be clean, because I bought some keytone strips and have been testing my urine at home LOL

I need to call and talk to the nurse about upping my insulin at night time again, from 12 to 14 units. My fasting levels are starting to creep up again, and have been for four days running. I see that there is an every three weeks pattern going on LOL

Saturday I get to go and spend the entire day at my OB's office doing some seven hour long prenatal workshop so I can earn a voucher for a free carseat. I'm not super excited about this. I've given birth four times already. Things haven't changed since the last time other than the fact that I'm high risk and get more attention this time. Whatever. Beggers can't be choosers. I'm not getting a shower and I'm pretty sure baby won't get any gifts either, so at least we will get something we are going to NEED purchased, or at least at a discounted rate.

I made about two hours worth of phone calls today. Apparently here in the great state of Texas, everything really is bigger, including foreskin....because insurance here covers circumcisons. The last baby was covered under his daddy on Tricare, which surprised me. My oldest two boys had to be paid for in cash. Good times.

Other than that, things are going okay.

I am entering panic mode about my delivery. I'm alone here in TX, with no one, other than my partner for support. That kind of puts us in a sticky situation as far as my delivery goes. Either we find some stranger to watch our four kids for 12-18 hours while I labor and give birth, or I do this all alone. I'm trying not to get hysterical over the prospect of giving birth alone. Or having a c-section alone. I'm trying not to think about the fact that I could go in to have an emergency c-section and DIE and not have the man I love, or ANYONE who loves me by my side. I'm trying to ignore the fact that shit like that happens to me. The stuff nobody thinks could ever happen, happens to me LOL. I don't want to have my baby alone. I don't want to share those moments with a strange nurse and a doctor that probably isn't even going to be my own because they are a revolving practice that rotates who is 'on call'. Mentally, it's a huge challenge for me right now to keep my head on straight. I wish I had close friends or family here. I wish I was home in Washington. I wish I was having a home birth and none of the hospital crap even mattered. I wish there was someone that could put their life on hold for a day and either be there with me, or take care of my kids....and there is just not. Anyone. I think that is the toughest pill that I have had to swallow yet. Far tougher than making the leap to move across the country, out of my home state, for the first time EVER.